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I don’t want to promise you the stars if you don’t do ANYTHING.
That’s bullshit. That’s a lie.
Life is damn complicated.
I have daily problems too. So does everyone else.
But let me tell you something.
Did your mother pack you lunch for school? Because mine did. Always.
But imagine what one of my students told me… SOMETHING TRULY HORRIBLE.
“My mom never packed me food…”
Here’s a woman who has resented her entire life that her mother didn’t pack her lunch.
Eternal horror.
And she also told me that’s exactly why she always packs for her children.
You know what this is? She broke a generational trauma so her children wouldn’t have this terrible experience. This is actually a DAMN hard task – not being like your mother or father. Your childhood memories and experiences largely define you.
The Weight of Small Things
Being hungry at your school desk.
Watching other children eat.
Not being able to concentrate.
Listening to lessons with a headache.
Sitting until afternoon with a growling stomach.
According to her mother, there was food at home, but she went home hungry.
It seems like a small thing. But it’s NOT AT ALL!
We could say, well, why didn’t she pack her own food?
Because a six-year-old can’t skillfully cut bread.
Because she doesn’t have the emotional intelligence for it.
Or because she didn’t see an EXAMPLE…
The Financial Version of This Story
Imagine you have a daughter. Even if you don’t. I don’t have one either. I have sons.
So we have an imaginary daughter. Let’s call her Anna for the sake of example.
We pack lunch for little Anna, we’re awesome moms. Heroes, you know?
But we can’t teach little Anna what financial intelligence is.
This is also a huge generational trauma!
When you heard as a child that “we don’t have money.”
“We’re saving.”
“We can’t afford it.”
“We depend on others.”
“It’ll work out somehow.”
“We’ll get through this somehow.”
“We’re not going now because…”
“Julie got a doll because her parents are wealthy.”
Should I continue?
Breaking the Cycle
Yet as adult women, we have the same opportunity to change life situations that our mothers didn’t provide for us… who maybe never buttered us a damn slice of bread, and our stomachs always growled at school.
Hard, right? But it’s true!
Now let’s talk to you, and you be Anna now (she’s your inner child):
Little Anna, if you don’t stand up for yourself and don’t take conscious steps… financially as an adult woman, then you’ll be much more likely to stay in a shitty, financially exploitative or oppressive relationship.
Little Anna, you won’t dare go home to your parents because they won’t help you. Or they’d want to, but they can’t.
Anna, you won’t escape from your husband who beats you? Because mom didn’t show me… that my financial security is important.
The Reality of Financial Trauma
Listen, dear. I can’t be your mother in place of your mother. But I can work with you on your financial traumas.
Because there was once a little Anna in me too. Who overcame her traumas.
Do you understand that after I got money, I didn’t grasp it for years? You’re not alone.
These are huge traumas in a woman’s life. That others pass on. Intentionally, but mostly unintentionally.
Look, we’re little Annas in many areas. But we don’t have to change the people who did something to us. You can’t change a person who killed three people and smiles at his trial when he gets in prison.
You can’t change your grandmother who was in war and lives unconsciously.
You can’t change your mother if she expresses love by cooking you to death, while you’re dieting and she gets offended that you won’t eat.
Understanding the Pattern
My trainer’s mother is overweight. She’s bone thin and muscular. You understand?
So dear little Anna. I know there’s a lot to process! I understand you!
The patterns we learn in childhood about money often stay with us our entire lives unless we consciously work to change them.
If you grew up hearing “we can’t afford it” or “money doesn’t grow on trees” or watching your parents stress about bills, those messages become part of your internal dialogue about money.
If you saw your mother depend financially on your father, or never pursue her own career because “the family comes first,” you might find yourself in similar patterns.
If you learned that “good people don’t care about money” or that wanting financial success makes you greedy or selfish, you might sabotage your own financial growth.
The Path Forward
Breaking generational financial trauma isn’t just about learning to budget or invest – though those skills are crucial. It’s about recognizing the beliefs and fears you inherited and consciously choosing different ones.
It’s about understanding that financial security isn’t selfish – it’s necessary for true independence and the ability to help others.
It’s about teaching the next generation that money is a tool, not something to fear or worship, but something to understand and use wisely.
It’s about breaking the cycle so that your children – real or metaphorical – don’t carry the same financial fears and limitations that you inherited.
The little Anna inside you deserves financial security. She deserves to know that she can take care of herself. She deserves to break free from the patterns that kept previous generations trapped.
You can’t change your past, but you can absolutely change your future. And in doing so, you change the trajectory for everyone who comes after you.
